Very important object
Featured for deeply scientific reasons
Red Flags
Looks like a bad decision.
Fortunately, it’s a fairly small one.
$54.95
In stock and ready for questionable decisions.
Discreet packaging. Because nobody needs the parcel lore.
The unnecessarily detailed explanation
Red Flags
Red Flags is compact, curved and heavily textured, so there’s plenty going on without it becoming a full-scale logistical issue.
It’s got the ridges for extra texture and a curve designed to hit the right spots. It also has the general appearance of something you’d normally be advised against.
Thankfully, this one is actually quite manageable. Concerning in theory. Surprisingly reasonable in practice.
In summary
A red flag with unusually good intentions.
Actually useful information
The useful bits.
The things you probably wanted to know before we started making jokes.
01
✓
Material
Body-safe silicone
Soft, smooth and made from materials intended for the job.
02
✦
Maintenance
Easy to clean
No advanced degree in object maintenance required.
03
◇
Delivery
Discreet packaging
Your parcel is significantly less interesting from the outside.
04
→
Support
Actual humans
If you need help, somebody with a pulse can answer.
Size matters. Apparently.
How big is it, actually?
Because product photography has absolutely no respect for scale.
XX cm
XX cm
Actual measurements. Revolutionary.
Overall height
18 cm
The full height from one end to the other.
Girth
14.5 cm
The widest point. Useful information, apparently.
Insertable Length
15.5 cm
The bit you'll actually be using.
Experience
Beginner+
A quick indication of who this particular object may suit.
Basic object maintenance
How to look after it.
Clean it properly, let it dry and store it somewhere sensible. Astonishingly manageable.
Care without the lecture
Clean. Dry. Store. Remarkably manageable.
Clean: Use a suitable toy cleaner or warm water and soap.
Dry: Allow the product to dry properly before storage.
Store: Keep it somewhere clean, dry and protected from damage.
Lubricant: Follow the compatibility guidance for the product material.
01
Wash
Use the right cleaner for the product material.
02
Dry
Let it dry properly before you put it away.
03
Store
Keep it clean, dry and protected between uses.
04
Repeat
Congratulations. You have successfully maintained an object.
The logistics department
What turns up at your door?
The parcel itself is aggressively uninteresting. Exactly as intended.
◇
01
Outside the parcel
Absolutely boring
No obvious product branding. No unnecessary public announcements.
→
02
Dispatch
Tracked shipping
Your order gets tracking because wondering where things are is deeply overrated.
✓
03
Inside
Your order
Packed securely. Correct products. No interpretive dance.
✦
04
If something goes wrong
Human support
Contact us and an actual person can help sort it out.
Still worried about the packaging?
Read shipping info
It is designed to be discreet. Your delivery driver has more interesting things to think about.
While we're here
Complete the questionable decision.
Add the useful extras now and save yourself a second visit later.
Your selections
One cart. Several decisions.
Select the products you want and add them together.
0 products
selected
Total
$0.00
Final prices and shipping are shown at checkout.
Things people ask
Still have questions?
Reasonable. Buying mysterious objects from the internet tends to generate a few.
Still confused?
Ask an actual person.
If you're unsure which product suits you, send us a message. No awkward judgement required.
What is it made from?
The dildo is made from body-safe silicone.
How big is it?
Use the actual measurements for this product. The dimensions section above can also provide a visual guide.
How do I clean it?
Follow the cleaning instructions as outlined above.
Will the packaging be discreet?
Orders are packed discreetly without obvious product information on the outside of the parcel.
Which lubricant should I use?
Only water-based lubricants should be used with silicone toys.
What if I'm not sure this is the right one?
Contact us for the right advice.
You've made it this far
Still thinking about it?
You have now read significantly more about this product than most people read before buying a car.
The object in question
Red Flags
$54.95
Discreet packaging • Tracked shipping • No judgement
One last look